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Archive for January, 2009|Monthly archive page

Psychics

In Uncategorized on January 21, 2009 at 5:08 am

It never fails.  Whenever we have a slow day, like today, we have virtually no customers in the store.  As soon as it hits a quarter to nine, Bam!, in walks a customer. I’m not complaining, but why and HOW do these brides always manage to do this?  For 10 straight hours, nothing. Just a couple of walk-ins every now and then.  But then Miss 9:00 walks in and proceeds to try on 15+ wedding gowns, completely oblivious to they’re just ignoring all our signs.

I just don’t get it. These brides must sense our urgency to leave and patiently wait until the right moment to pounce upon us in their attempt to crush any thoughts of us leaving work just once on time.

Bah.

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Rude Bitch

In Uncategorized on January 14, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Why are women so fucking rude?? I think we secretly hate other women who are happy when they’re in a bad mood.  It’s the only explanation I’ve got so far about how a woman can just be so ignorant over the phone to someone she’s never met before.

Example:

I’m taking an order over the phone and the bridesmaid I’m speaking with tells me that she wants me to ship her dress to her when it comes in because she lives out of state.

So I tell her “Ok, we’ll charge you the shipping fee but we won’t charge you any sales tax.”

She responds with “It’s illegal to charge me sales tax, so you’re not doing me any favors.”

WTF???  Lady, I wouldn’t do you any favors if you paid me.

“Ma’am, I’m just letting you know that.”

“Well I already knew that.”

“I’m glad you already knew that.  But some people may not know this, which is why I informed you to make sure you were aware of this.”

AKA, sorry I can’t mind-read the thoughts in your little hamster brain. Sorry you’re taking out your pent-up anger on me because you’re being treated like shit at work.  Sorry they canceled your favorite show and it left you in a shitty mood.  Sooooorry for being polite and keeping you informed.  A thousand apologies.

She ordered a size 16 dress…her measurements were placing her at a size 22.  My slowly increasing, mind-reading abilities tell me that when she gets her dress, she won’t be able to get it past her hips.  She’ll have to buy extra fabric, minimum $50-100 bucks, which will automatically double her alterations, probably another $200 minimum, and find someone who knows how to alter a dress-basically from scratch- with all the work that it’s gonna need.

I could have pointed this out to her, but I’m sure she already knows that.

Holidays and Know-it-Alls

In Uncategorized on January 13, 2009 at 2:24 am

This was the first year in 40 years that we opened our salon on a holiday, New Years Day.  We almost had no choice, considering the wonderful year that we went through.

It bugs me enough when there’s a problem in our salon, but it infuriates me when there are problems the day after a holiday. I take it personally, like someone is trying to punish me for actually getting to enjoy a day off. Working in retail is bad enough-I sympathize with every human being who is unlucky enough to be doing it for a living.  You have to work long hours, hard hours, late hours, early hours, holidays, and on your days off if it calls for it.  And now some retail stores actually open on Christmas Day and New Years, and pretty soon, Thanksgiving, Easter, Mother’s Day, and any other days that threaten to interfere with our few sacred days off.  So when a customer enters the picture and decides to ruin your already delicate state-of-mind with an infuriating comment about how you should be doing your job, or what they think you did wrong, or why they find this “Unacceptable!”, it makes you want to grab them by their (insert community college) University sweater and fling them out the door.

When did brides start thinking that they know better than us?  Do they just automatically go into Expert-Mode once a wedding ring is on their finger?  Do they think that picking up a bridal magazine is like receiving a diploma? That anyone who works in retail is some hapless moron who is waiting on the guidance of The Bride to lead the way? If the answer is so obvious to them, then why aren’t they running things?

When one of these simple-minded creatures has the nerve to tell me what I should do for her for the inconvenience she’s been caused, I have to force my mind to fade out and imagine if our roles were reversed.  How would this woman, who obviously doesn’t deal with customer service in her job, react if she were in my place? Would she put up with the in-your-face attitude, the finger pointing, the crossed arms? I highly doubt it.

If I were to accuse her of “forcing” me into buying a gown from her, what would her response be?  If I blamed her for ordering me a dress in the wrong size so she could later charge me more for alterations, how would she answer?  I’m actually dying to know, because every bridal consultant has, at some point, been accused of trying to trick a bride into something or other. No matter what our background or our ethics are, brides are unwilling to take into account the type of person we truly are.

To them,  we will always be seen as suspicious creatures, trying to convince, connive, and over-sell you with our sharp and deceptive  tactics. So how do we defend ourselves against this perception, in the eyes of someone who has already condemned us? So far, there isn’t a solution that I know of. In the eyes of the Know-It-All, their answer is the only answer they need.  And now they’ve got us working on holidays too.